Switching to New Blog, Ending This One

I have decided to end this blog, since who really wants to read about an aspiring writer's trials and tribulations - when there are probably 25,000 other blogs just like it.

Instead, I am starting a new blog - Kritz Bitz (http://kritzbitz.blogspot.com/)

The new blog is billed as:  A blog to illuminate fascinating ideas and noteworthy research

The idea is to discover and post about things that are interesting enough to discuss at dinner parties with intelligent people.  The posts will include stories about science, geography, human nature, engineering, technology, and who knows what else.

I hope you will check it out!

Pitchapalooza

Last night I attended an event by The Book Doctors, a husband-wife team who offer services and a book to help authors improve their chances on getting published.  They let attendees have 1 minute each to pitch a book, and the winner gets a free consultation and an introduction to an agent and a publisher.

I pitched CROSSING THE WILDERNESS.  It went well, with the husband particularly excited about the concept.  They thought I needed to paint a better picture of the main character and be more clear on the timeframe of the story (present day), but they liked it.

I was impressed by how many of the pitchers were good.  There were many children's stories, a few memoirs, a child-rearing book, and general fiction.

Two other from our writers group pitched as well - Charles and Gary.  Charles' zombie idea was well received.

The Book Doctors noted that there were far more good pitches at this event than usual, and that picking a winner would be much tougher.  The husband put stars next to his favorites and the wife picked the winner.  She picked a children's book about baking French bread (it was a great pitch).  Afterwards, he told me that mine was one of the ones he had put a star next to.

By buying the book (Clinton Book Shop owner was there to sell the book) I am entitled to a 20 minute consultation with them.  I was impressed enough by their comments and feedback throughout the event that I decided to buy the book and receive a consultation.

Rewriting the opening

I have been rewriting the first two chapters of Crossing the Wilderness. The feedback I received was that the writing was good but too sense, making it too hard to get into the story.

This time I cut out quite a bit, making it a shorter, more streamlined journey to get to the meat of the story - when the characters enter The Wilderness. I also made a few changes so that the main character Pierce is not using unrealistic intuition in order to escape from his dire predicament.

Descriptive Rejection

Here is a helpful rejection that I received today:

Dear Dave, 

Thank you for being so patient while I've reviewed CROSSING THE WILDERNESS for possible representation.  While I was intrigued by this concept, unfortunately I had a hard time getting drawn into the story.  Though the writing has merit and even points of brilliance, it is also extremely dense, unnecessarily so. Although there are many fast-paced events, it takes quite some time to get through them, especially as the scenes drag a bit with too much detail and words. I also feel there are too many convenient solutions. Although Pierce is in a life-threatening situation and running from the cops in the government bunker, he conveniently possesses a perfect intuition for knowing when to act and finding the solutions, repeatedly. 

For these reasons, I must pass.

Please don't take this rejection as a comment on your writing ability, as it is not intended to be one. I'm sure another agent will feel quite differently.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors, 

I received another rejection a few days ago, with the agent also saying she had trouble getting into the story.  It seems I have a problem with my opening chapters, but I may have already burned my bridges with the agents I met at the conference.  This has me stressed...

Time for Submissions

The reworking of the query is complete, and now I have gone through the entire manuscript, making minor changes here and there.  I found a few typos, which still amazes me after how many times it has been read.  I also modified several lines of dialogue.

So the time has come to submit my manuscript to the two agents from Backspace who had requested the entire thing.  I am also submitting to two other agents I met there.  I will also begin sending to agents who were not present at Backspace.

Now I am hoping for a phone call as opposed to a quick email response!

Writers Group

After reworking my query and the opening few pages based on feedback from the Backspace Conference, I had been eagerly awaiting my opportunity to read some of the update material to my writers group.  Last night was the meeting, and it went well.

The group has become quite large, so the time allotted for reading your work and receiving feedback is quite limited.  Therefore, I was only able to read most of the first two pages (single spaced).  Many in this group had heard the original prologue and opening chapters.  Before reading these pages, I explained that I had dropped the prologue.

The reaction was basically that they liked the original opening, but that this one was even stronger.  They told me that the dialogue was very good and the action started quickly enough.

There were a couple of very minor suggestions, plus one suggestion that I think is a terrific idea, turning one phrase of dialogue into something a little more that can reveal something about the world I am introducing.  I am working now on that change!

Opening Pages

I have heard from sources about getting published that an agent might stop reading after the first line, and if they get past that, then they need to want to read past the first paragraph, and then the first page or two.  So the opening pages need to dazzle.  They need to hook the reader so that they can't put it down.

This is easier said than done.

I have re-written my opening to CROSSING THE WILDERNESS many times now, and that does not include my discarding of the Prologue entirely.  The problem is finding the right balance between getting right into the action versus giving a sense of who the main characters really are.  Something exciting needs to happen quickly, but if the characters seem one-dimensional, you have not accomplished your task.

Feedback I received at the Backspace Conference regarding my opening fell very much along these lines.  On the first day, the agents felt that the first pages included too many venue changes and brought in the name of a throw-away character needlessly - too confusing for the opening page.  So that night I changed the scene so that the two main characters no longer eat in a cafe before going to the bar (where the action begins), and I cut out the dialogue in which they mention a cute bank teller.

The 2nd day the critique was that the main character was not edgy enough and the dialogue was too boring and inconsequential for the first page.  And as for the dialogue, I realized that I needed to change it so that a strong clue was given that this is an alternate-history United States.  Originally, my prologue provided that context, but the prologue is gone.

So now it's back to work on another rewrite...